Renee » Life After What?

One Year.

Accident, Leah, Rachel, Renee 7 Responses »

Aug 042008

One second.

One minute.

One day.

One year.

I have always found it interesting to find how such finite units of measurement can seem so relatively flexible to us. As children, these units of time can seem to last forever, be it waiting for the next time we would get to go out and play, our next birthday, the time till Mom lets us out of time out, or the countdown until we can open those mysterious Christmas packages. We make statements about how we can’t wait for the next summer vacation, to finally graduate, grow up and set off on our own.

I have noticed that as we get older, time seems to slip away ever more quickly, the sand of the hour glass inexorably slipping away, the time zooming past, yet there are certain times where time seems to stand still, the seconds turn to minutes, minutes to hours, and days drag on like years. The world continues zooming by, but we are stopped, trapped like an insect in amber. August 4, 2007 is one of those moments where those finite unit of time suddenly blurred, and had no meaning.

August 4th, 2007 was a hot steamy day, one that I had been waiting for with child like enthusiasm, counting the days, thinking it would never come. My family was going to go on a vacation to the mountains, a vacation like we used to take when we were children. Sadly, August 4th turned out to be a day were time stopped. My sister Renee, wife Leah and mother Rachel were in the car behind us, and were involved in a tragic accident. Leah and Rachel were seriously injured, and Renee was killed instantly. Even now, one year to the day, I can clearly remember that day like it was yesterday, yet it still feels like it was a hundred years ago.

For some of us, we had doctor’s appointments, physical therapy, and a fight to get back healthy. We all had tears, sorrow and the pain of loss. Time once again resumed its normal pace, the sand eroding away, the wounds healing, the shadow of sorrow fading, and joy beginning to brighten the day. We all had to face this journey to recovery our own distinct ways, each of our efforts to recover different, but yet together. We find ourselves still facing challenges, but each day is a little easier, even though some days are harder then others, I believe we are all going to find joy returning to our lives. All of us will never be able to express the gratitude for all the help, support and love that we have been given from strangers, friends and family. We are fortunate to have been exposed to so many wonderful people, who continue to help us on our way.

Renee was a wonderful sister, daughter, wife and friend to all of us. She brought us joy and laughter, and reminded us to cherish life, to make the most of all those fleeting seconds, and to approach life with a smile and a laugh. She approached life the right way, taking precious seconds to smile at a stranger, make music with a student, laugh with a friend, tease her brother and sister, make a mother and father proud, and help her husband be the wonderful man he is today. We were fortunate for her time with us, and those of us she took the time to touch are better for it. I know she is up there in heaven, spreading joy and music.

I approach August 4th, not as a time to remember pain, suffering, loss and tragedy, but as a day to remember all the good things about life, to laugh, to smile, and most importantly, to cherish the opportunities I have to tell those people I love how much I love them. August 4th is a reminder to take the time, all those finite grain of the hourglass, and to make the most of the opportunities we have to spread the joy, laughter and love to one another.

One year.

Three hundred sixty six days.

Five hundred twenty seven thousand forty minutes.

Thirty one million six hundred twenty two thousand four hundred chances to love in one year.

Amazing how flexible time really can be…

Please take some time and view this slide show of Renee, living life how she wanted to live it, with laughter, joy and music. Please be patient, it takes a little time to load…

Renee Kristin Hall Ramsey

"The Renee Hall Ramsey Memorial Endowed Scholarship Fund"

Leah, Memorial, Rachel, Renee No Responses »

Jan 162008

Dear Friends and Family,

The holiday season has finally ended, and life is moving back to this quasi norm that we have become familiar with in the last five months. Leah is going strong again. In fact, the good news is that she will shortly be ending her physical therapy sessions. Her strength has returned, her right arm has nearly a full range of motion, and she is back working full time for St. James.

Rachel is gaining strength daily as well. She still goes to PT/OT weekly, and is becoming a familiar face to the whole staff. In fact, she drove herself to therapy the other day, and let one of her physical therapist know that on her way in to see her ankle orthopedist. By the time she made it back to Physical Therapy the word had spread throughout the facility that she was driving. They all cheer for her daily.

On Thursday, Rachel goes in for out-patient surgery on her right shoulder. She has what the physicians colloquially call a “frozen shoulder”. They will do arthroscopic surgery and make four incisions then remove and scar tissue or impediments to her moving the humorous head in the socket. Then Friday, she goes back to PT and starts working hard at keeping that arm and shoulder working. And, so our life goes on!

Many of you have asked about a memorial for Renee, and I have been remiss in passing along the information on her memorial in the most conducive method possible; ie.. this blog site. Zack’s mother, Jane, and Renee’s friend Paige put a lot of work into getting a memorial scholarship set up with Oklahoma State University. The fund will be called “The Renee Hall Ramsey Memorial Endowed Scholarship Fund”. The goal is to give an out-of-state violinist scholarship assistance to attend OSU. Renee attended OSU for her bachelor’s degree completely on scholarships. She then finished her Master Degree in violin pedagogy at Texas Tech University, again almost completely on scholarships. The fund is intended to provide the same assistance to violinists on a self perpetuating basis long after all of us are off celebrating with Renee in another life.

If you wish to participate, you may send a check to The OSU Foundation, 400 South Monroe, Stillwater, OK 74074. Make the check out to The OSU Foundation, and in the memo line “The Renee Hall Ramsey Memorial Endowed Scholarship Fund” Equity Number 2289600. The OSU Foundation will mail you a Tax Receipt and a Thank you note. They will also let Zach know who has made contributions. For those of you whom have already contributed, and those whom plan to contribute in the future, my entire family can not say “Thank you” enough.

Jay, Renee, Britanie, Leah and Zach’s Dad

December 19 - Renee's Birthday...

Accident, Rachel, Renee 3 Responses »

Dec 192007

Just wanted to post a quick little note today… Today would have been Renee’s 26th birthday. Renee was our Christmas Angel, not only because she was born during the Christmas season, but because she so loved to celebrate Christmas. She was well known for pulling out all the stops when it came to decorating, always had Christmas carols playing as soon as the Thanksgiving feast was cleared, immaculately wrapped presents (although, for her birthday you better make darn sure that it was BIRTHDAY paper and not Christmas wrapping paper) and most importantly a huge smile and a hug, and a genuine joy for the season. The next few weeks are going to be very difficult, as we will be going thru a time where family is the most important part of the celebration, and Renee’s absence will be especially poignant.

I also just wanted to pass on a little note I got from my mom, Rachel today…

I just keep thinking of the days when Renee was born. It was very cold – sub zero ( -8 ) so my mom was worried the car wouldn’t start if she had to come in the middle of the night. My brother Karl was home from college and spent the evening with us. We finished the last of
our Christmas cards and Karl mailed them on the way home to Mom & Dad’s. They had gone to a Christmas party. I had a terrible cold those last few days, so my doctor gave me a super decongestant so that I could breathe freely while doing Lamaze. I can remember driving
through the still, snowy empty streets…the few cars we saw had the exhaust forming the white smoke in the frigid air.

Renee was born at 6:15 – a Saturday. We were able to keep her with us for the next hour and a half. She was awake the whole time. We called people from the birthing room. My Dad was amazed he could hear her soft cries over the phone.

My sister, Kathy, was singing with her husband in Greenland. The night when I was in labor, she had a dream in which we had a little girl.

That Christmas was so peaceful since my only job was to feed and care for our new daughter.

Love, Rachel

I also would like to show a tribute that one of Renee’s good friends made for Renee. He was a good friend from her time at Texas Tech, and was someone who shared the gift of music with Renee, and who traveled with her to Honduras to teach music to the children down there. I missed getting his name during all the confusion and emotional turmoil at the funeral, but the credit is all his. The music is an original piece, composed for Renee, after her friend found out about her passing. This tribute shows how my wonderful sister lived and celebrated her life…

Renee’s Tribute

Please be patient, it takes some time to load…

Happy Birthday Renee!

Update 10-15-07

Accident, Leah, Medical, Mom, Omaha, Renee No Responses »

Oct 162007

Today was a long day, back to work after a busy weekend. As many of you know, Leah returned to work at St. James United Methodist in Bellevue last week, and we took one more step on the road to recovery. Leah was very pleased to get back to work, not only to once again use her brain, but also to start to give back to the folks at St. James who have been so wonderful to us. Going back to work was a bit of a challenge for Leah, as we had to work on getting her back behind the wheel, getting up early, and finding the stamina to stay at work and be active all day. She came home many nights last week, looking tired, but she seemed very pleased to be back.

Returning to work was also a bittersweet event for Leah as well. As many of you know, Leah and Renee spent many hours emailing and chatting with each other in between the various documents and phone calls, and many times would come home and call each other up on the phone to laugh and talk some more. The two of them spent so much time talking and laughing that Zack and I really never had much to talk about, as the girls had filled us in on the goings on so much that we had nothing new to share with each other. The time that the girls spent chatting with each other helped pass those days when the bulletin was done, newsletters printed and the phone was quiet. So as Leah returned to work, she was returning to a place where she and Renee had had many happy moments, but where now the little chat window would stay blank, and the email box empty…

Leah continues to attend PT sessions, and continues to show marked improvement towards a full recovery. She increased all her range of motion measurements by another 15-20 degrees, and has added some strengthening exercises to her 3 times daily routine. We now have different colored thera-bands (giant rubber bands of varying levels of resistance) hanging from the banister and door knobs, a hammer, and an assortment of various contractions such as pulleys and peg boards for her to use. She has almost completely recovered full range of motion in her wrist, and only has about 5 more degrees of rotation before she would have full range. She is slowly gaining strength in the hand, and each day is more capable of doing more.

Rachel is also continuing to make great strides down the road to recovery. Her skin grafts continue to heal, and are beginning to look a little less red, and more pink. The swelling continues to go down in the hand thanks to vigorous Occupational Therapy and lots of interesting little contraptions like her “bionic hand” which is a computer controlled machine that randomly flexes her fingers and hand to start to force the edema out of the hand and down into the arm. One of the areas of concern for the doctors is that there may be some vein damage under the area where the skin graft is on the wrist, and that may be preventing some of the fluids from being removed as quickly by the body. Her PT and little devices have really helped however, and the swelling has begun to go down, in fact enough that her fingers are beginning to look normal. Her foot continues to heal, and she was cleared to discontinue use of the walking boot. She is able to walk fairly well, in fact she and Dad resumed walking at the lake every day, although the walk is much shorter. Her more active movements helped to reduce the small clot in the leg, and at her screening last week, it was found that the clot had completely been absorbed. She was able to be removed from the blood thinners she was on.

She did receive a little bit of discouraging news last week, as it was found her ribs are not healing nearly as fast as they would like. Some of this is due to the other damage her body is having to repair, but some of it is also a result of her inability to use her right arm a great deal. As the muscles in the torso get used, they tend to move the rib bones back into position allowing them to heal. Her relative lack in motion in that arm is not allowing the muscles to pull the bones into place as effectively, therefore not allowing the ribs to calcify.

I would like to take a moment to pass on our condolences to the Duethman family who lost Terry earlier this month, and let them know that all of us in the Hall family are praying for you and are here for you should you need anything at all.

I would like to give a quick shout out to our dear friends Paige and Marc, who were married this past weekend in Oklahoma City. Congratulations you guys, I hope that you will have a happy, loving and joyous marriage, and Leah and I look forward to seeing you guys soon!

I would like to end tonight with a quick little thought about Renee. Tonight we had dinner with my parents and my aunt Kathy who is visiting from Florida, and while we were sitting around the table sharing stories, laughing and enjoying the wonderful meal my father prepared for us, I remembered how we always used to sit around the table with Renee and Zack when they would come and visit, laughing and talking long after the meal was over. That simple act of companionship and love personified and defined Renee. She was always one to share a smile and a laugh, lend a helping hand, or just be there for you. She celebrated life, and helped all of us live just a little bit more.

Thanks to all of you out there who help us, support us and pray for us. You keep us strong and with your help we will get better. We can never express our gratitude enough for the overwhelming support and generosity our family, friends and complete strangers have extended to us.

Omaha Update - September 9th, 2007

Accident, Leah, Mom, Renee No Responses »

Sep 092007

Sorry about the long delay in between posts, but I haven’t really had the inspiration to blog much in the last few days, and each time I have been inspired, I haven’t had the time due to dealing with technical issues, or my most important priority, helping Leah. I do however have the time right now, and will give everyone a quick little update.

Leah and I had a good week, her sister Julie, brother in law Robert, and their two children came to visit us late last week. They stayed at the house, and Julie had the opportunity to have a nice chat with Leah, and do some big sisterly duties. The two kids were adorable and very entertaining, and it wasn’t long until Uncle Jay was crawling around on the floor with them.

We did take a short trip down to Hiawatha, Kansas, where we spent some time with Leah’s family. We had planned on having a quick family reunion before the accident, and as this is the first time that Leah’s whole family had been together since our wedding three years ago, Leah and I decided that it would be a good thing to attend. We took the trip in small chunks, stopping regularly to let Leah walk so she didn’t become stiff, and before we knew it we were there in Hiawatha. We were staying in some small cabins on a lake down there, and her brother Bill and his family, sister Julie and her family, and Leah’s folks were all there. We had the chance to get a bit of a change of scenery which for Leah was very welcome, as basically all she really has been doing was hanging out in our house, which after a while can start to create some cabin fever!
It was also a good opportunity for me to have a lot more people there to help me out with Leah, and to get to talk to some family who I haven’t had the chance to really get to know.

The weekend at the cabins also provided a nice escape out into nature, where the quiet Kansas night let me reflect on the happenings of the last few weeks in a very peaceful and spiritually refreshing environment. I have always loved the outdoors, and having the opportunity to think about Renee while looking at the stars was a nice way for me to let some emotions go. I also did have the opportunity to take advantage of the picturesque setting, and exercised my camera skills on a number of different subjects. The weekend flew by faster then Leah and I expected, and we found ourselves having to return home, feeling happier having gotten to see the nephews and the niece, the siblings and the parents. I really have been blessed with a wonderful set of in-laws, and this weekend only reinforced that opinion!

Leah did start active PT this week, which means that she will be doing the majority of the work on her exercises. Previously we had been doing passive PT, where I would support the weight of her arm, and do the range of motion exercises with her with me providing the muscle for movement. Leah now us to do some of these motions on her own, and use some new tools such as a pulley system to lift her own arm. This is a big step, as active PT will make her begin to take big steps in recovery, and will help develop her muscles so that she will be able to do the normal movements that are required in everyday life. This is a big step on the road to recovery, and for her being able to get back to a more normal life, which she is really looking forward to. As all of you know, Leah is not one who is real big on sitting around doing nothing, and as a result is going slightly stir crazy right now!

We have a orthopedic appointment Monday to look at how the healing is progressing, and hopefully to remove the cast that has been on her forearm and wrist for the last few weeks. Leah is really hoping for the cast to be off, so she can scratch some itches, not have quite so heavy an arm for doing her active PT and maybe even take a shower with out having to have a trash bag taped over one arm! Of course, if we do happen to get the cast off, we will probably have to start PT for the wrist, so we maybe learning a lot of new exercises in the next few days.

We are really looking forward to getting Mom and Dad back home. Hearing that they are officially coming home was very exciting news, and both Leah and I are looking forward to being able to hug them, talk with them, and just see them.

Thank you all of you wonderful people who have been sending emails, cards, flowers etc to us and my parents. All of your prayers, love and encouragement have been very instrumental in getting us this far. We cannot express enough our gratitude for all that you have done, and will do in the future. I promise I will do a better job of keeping all of you updated and keep passing out the thanks.

Jay

Update 8-13-07 1215 AM - Half Way there

Accident, Leah, Medical, Mom, Renee No Responses »

Aug 132007

Just a quick note to update all of you. Today we managed to get half way to our initial goal of getting the girls safely home. There is still a long road ahead for the other half of this goal, but I fully believe that it is only a matter of time. Leah and I arrived safely into Omaha at 5 PM, just beating a large and powerful thunderstorm that dumped 2-3 inches of rain onto Omaha. This storm probably chased us all the way from Ogallala, NE, as the drive home was filled with lots of torrential downpours which made the rule of letting Leah walk around the car for 10 minutes every hour quite interesting. We managed to stay slightly ahead of the worst of it, and still got Leah the exercise she needed.

Our home is a huge relief as we are surrounded by familiar smells, our own comfortable bed, and our own non hospital white walls. Leah said that just being home made her feel better, and having that kind of attitude will go a long way towards healing all of us. It brightens my day to see her smile, and hear the determination in her voice while she does PT, as her desire to heal and live is very apparent. I know that both of us will have a significant amount of healing yet to accomplish, but being at this point feels like a major accomplishment.

I am sitting here with Leah writing this today, and she wanted me to pass on a few words to all of you.

“Thank you all so very much for all of your thoughts, prayers, and your concern for all of us this week. I can not express to all of you how thankful I am for your generosity and outpouring of love, and it is difficult to even try. I am on the way to recovery, but my heart is still with Rachel in Denver, and I hope that she will be able to join me in this first step to recovery. My heart is still very heavy, as I mourn the loss of my dear sister Renee, who was not only my best friend, but someone who brought joy to my every day life. I struggle with this part of my healing everyday, but know that I have to trust in God’s plan for me, and hope that He will help me heal in everyway, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I mourn for the pain that Zack is suffering, and want him to know that I love him, love him very deeply. I wish that I could help him make this pass, and will pray for God to help Zack through this trying time. Mom Dad and Britanie, Jay and I love you very much, and wish we could still be there in Denver to help you heal.

Thank you and I love you all very much. My gratitude can’t be expressed enough,
Leah. “

Obviously I typed that for Leah as she dictated that to me. Her typing hand is a little out of commission, and having to try to type, operate the mouse and wipe away some tears is a bit difficult, especially when you are right handed, but the only one that works is your left. I know that many of you will want to stop by and see her, and we would welcome that, but only ask that you call ahead, and check with us to see whats going on, as to much excitement can be a bit hard to handle. We also need to try to figure out some semblance of a routine, so that we can figure out what we may need from all of our friends who keep offering to help us.

We can be contacted at:

402.321.4167 – Jay’s cell, always on.
402.598.0612 – Leah’s cell, but probably not going to be heard unless it is next to her
402.991.8577 – Home phone.

We did have some visitors today, our friends the Schubert’s stopped by, and my Grandpa and Grandma Kunc and Aunt Wendy and Uncle Karl and their kids. It was nice to see all of them, and was good to hear laughter in the house from all the kids. I could tell that Grandma and Grandpa were hurting a lot, but hopefully seeing Leah and her smile will help their hearts to feel a little lighter.

I did talk to Mom today, and she sounded like she was making some improvements. As you probably read in the article by my father, John, she sat up a lot today, talked a lot more, and meet with the doctors to start working on pain. She sounded better, but I know her heart is still very heavy.

I want to thank Bill and Judith for driving us home, and getting us here safely. They did travel back to Missouri earlier tonight to take care of some stuff at home, but will be back soon. Their help over the last week has been instrumental in getting the girls back to where they are. It was amazing to see that they not only cared for the two of us, but also took care of Mom, Dad and Britanie. They also had enough compassion and love to talk to some of the other families, and helped to care for them as well. I don’t think I could have asked for any better in laws.

I would also want to thank Julia for coming up to help us. I don’t think I have given her enough credit for just jumping on a plane and coming to our rescue. She helped us all by smiling, sitting with us, hugging us, and running little errands. She might have felt like she didn’t do much, but her just being there for us helped us more then I can even say.

I would also like to thank my uncle Jerry. He just jumped on a plane, and wished he could have gotten there sooner to be there for us. He was a rock for my dad, Brit and I. He just quietly took care of us, making sure we ate, making us talk about our feelings, and just sitting there with us. He took care of the girls for us, letting us go take care of Zack and Renee. His unquestioning help, quiet calm talks, and strong hugs helped us all to begin to heal.

Thanks again, I must now go dose some meds out to Leah.

We love all of you, and look forward to seeing you.

J and L

Thank you to everyone

Accident, Leah, Mom, Renee No Responses »

Aug 122007

Dear Friends,

Thank you all for your messages, prayers, thoughts, offers of help, tears, and especially the outpouring of love. Our family has suffered a great tragedy, which only time and encouragement from family and friends will be able to overcome. Renee was super special to us, and we are going to miss her more than menial words can ever describe. Her joyous demeanor, beautiful smile, and optimistic outlook on life meant that she lit up a room upon entry. Her leadership style was totally unassuming. You never could fully explain when she took command of any group, but one day you noticed that she definitely had full control. You always wanted to please someone who worked that hard to please you. Our family has lost a significant cog in our life wheel that will forever make that wheel skip a beat.

As Jay wrote, Leah is on the way home with Jay and her parents, Bill and Judith Voelker. We are extremely happy to have her gone from Swedish Hospital. However, we will certainly miss Jay, his strength and his support. We definitely will also miss Judith and Bill. They provided meaningful support to all of us, not just Leah and Jay. As a pastoral couple they professionally retired three weeks ago, but were counseling and praying with us and many other unfortunate families here at Swedish Hospital.

Rachel is improving by the hour. We started here at Swedish with one word answers, many unintelligible, and have progressed to lengthy conversations. Now for those of you that don’t know Rachel, you must know that Rachel has never experienced a quiet moment in any conversation, since she won’t allow it to happen. So Jay, Britanie and I have been expecting a flood of words once the dam broke. We’re slowly getting to the breaking point of the dam. We see longer conversations, longer attention spans, and more perceptive answers to our queries.

Rachel sat up twice, out of bed, yesterday for about 30 minutes each time, and once today for about 22 minutes. She is definitely also beginning to manage her care. The docs and nurses are about to experience the Rachel we know and love. I wish them luck.

We also have experienced a few minor setbacks. The affects of her concussion are receding and memories of Renee and the accident are surfacing more regularly. Last night Britanie and I took shifts consoling her through her nightmares. Britanie put her on music therapy with Britanie’s Ipod and tried to catch some sleep. Shortly, she was in the throes of another dream and it was my four hours of guard duty from there. As a step forward though, she began questioning her doctors and seems to understand each one’s role in pain control rather than making each responsible for her complete pain control. With 18 broken ribs, pain control is our priority, and every day on the epidural pump is a great day.

Thank you everyone for all your support of my immediate family and your continued prayers and blessings you send our way. We are truly blessed in every way with your love and compassion. I will continue to attempt to keep you informed of our progress in Denver, please continue to pray for us, especially Renee and Zack.

Our sincerest love for all of you,

Jay, Renee, Britanie, Zack and Leah’s Dad

Renee... Update August 9 /10 2007, 130 AM

Accident, Leah, Medical, Mom, Renee No Responses »

Aug 102007

Today we will lay Renee to rest in Stillwater, Ok. Stillwater is where she and her husband Zack and their dog Bosco made their home. Stillwater is where Renee met Zack, fell in love with him, and made him the happiest man in the world. Today I will have to see and feel the pain that Zack, my dad, Britanie and I have in our hearts.

Earlier today we had a visit with Renee, where she was surrounded by flowers from so many wonderful people, so many flowers that the funeral home ran out of room in the visitation room, and had to begin putting them around the waiting area. The colors were so bright and cheery, so like Renee, who in life was the most caring, kind hearted and bright person I have ever known. I am so fortunate to have had her in my life, as my sister, and as a best friend. Our lives were so intertwined, Leah and her best friends and truly sisters, Zack and I brothers. We could always get together, and it was like we had never been apart. I am going to miss her and her dumb jokes, I am going to miss her and her bright smile, I am going to miss her wonderful hospitality, but mostly I am going to miss her wonderful laugh, the laugh that made me forget my troubles, and see the funny side of life.

Renee I love you, and will miss you. There will always be a hole in my heart and soul where you used to be. I know that you are with me in my memories and in spirit, and are looking down on me from heaven, laughing at me right now, knowing that my tears are watering those memories so that they will grow. I love you so much, and I promise that I will do my best to take care of Zack for you.

Today was a hard day for all of us. We had to leave those that we love, and who need us to go and take care of two other members of our family, Zack and Renee. We flew out of Denver to Oklahoma City, had the usual misadventures with flying, but safely arrived in Stillwater, where we were met by many anxious family members. We hugged a lot, cried a lot, and comforted each other. We went over to the funeral home, where we saw Zack for the first time since the accident. Each of us hugged Zack and his family, and the tears flowed freely. We gave Zack the cookbook that his mom had hand written for Renee with all of her recipes that the two of them loved. Zack asked that it be given back to Renee, and we had taken it upon ourselves to find it, and make sure that this request was fulfilled. It was good for us, as this gave us something to do to help Zack. We cleaned it, dried it as it had been wet, and repaired the emblems on the front.

The visitation was good, lots of hugs, tears, talking and even some laughter. I had the chance to meet Zack and Renee’s wonderful friend Mario, who lived, laughed and loved them, and who Renee made sure was always well fed and cared for. We always teased the two of them that Mario was like of like their adopted son, and having had the opportunity to meet Mario, I can see why Renee and Zack made him a part of their family. Mario is strong, loving and compassionate, and is now turning the tables and is caring for Zack. Zack and Mario were going to spend the night at the house that Renee and Zack called home, and hopefully the night will be one filled with peace and healing.

I saw Leah for a short time this morning, and she looked much better. She and I had a chance to talk, and I managed to steal a kiss or two from her before I had to leave. I left her in the capable hands of her father and mother, and I knew she would be fine, as we all know who we really want when we get sick or hurt, and that is our Mom. Leah told me on the phone that she had worked on her walking PT, and had passed with flying colors, so much so that they told her that she did not any longer need walking PT. She did walk down the hall to see my mother, and walked almost 200 feet before she tired and needed to have the wheelchair to spell her a bit. Once she reached the room, she walked over and stood by mom’s bed and she and Mom had a conversation. Leah told me that it was an actual conversation, with give and take from both parties, which is a good sign that Mom might be starting to put some of the pieces back together again. Leah stood until she got to hot, and then sat in the wheel chair and talked. Leah also said she did all of her PT for her shoulder and managed to get all 10 repetitions completed of all the exercises. The nurse also told her to get ready to go home soon, but Leah said that she would be sure to wait until I get back.

I talked with Jerry as well, and he said that Mom had a good day today. She had the Occupational therapist in, and the psychologist who was going to help her get her brain back to a more normal state after the concussion. Jerry said that her appetite was good, even to the point of asking for an additional cup of ice cream. He also stated that she and Jerry had an hour long conversation, and that in his opinion she was in the best condition she had been in since we got here.

We just wanted to thank all of you for keeping the encouragement going. Every little bit helps, and all the prayers and the thoughts have to be helping, as we continue to see small little baby steps of improvement, each one a victory.

Jay

Update August 8, 2007 1150PM plus a note from Britanie

Accident, Leah, Medical, Mom, Renee 1 Response »

Aug 092007

Just wanted to drop a quick little update on here before I go to bed. It was a bit of a roller coaster day today. We had the bittersweet moment of Leah and Rachel heading upstairs to the MTU. It is a big step, but kind of like high school, you can’t wait to leave, but once you do, you really miss what you had. The nurses on the MTU floor have been wonderful, but there was something about being cared for like we were in the ICU.

The emotions are really hitting hard today, its hard to decide to leave our loved ones who need us to go care for another loved one who needs us. This morning we had to tell them we had to leave them, and they told us we needed to go, to serve not only as their representatives, but also to help heal ourselves and lay Renee to rest.

Dad has really been struggling, its hard to realize how much he wants to protect his children, and how hard it has been for him to be able to let her go. He is being so strong for all of us, actually we are all being strong, with moments were one of us is overwhelmed, the other two step in and help shoulder the burden. Dad really made my day this morning while we were traveling to the hospital this morning, as he pointed out a Magpie to me, and made a comment about how they always fly a bit drunkenly. This gave me a bit of cheer, as those of you who know my dad know that he is an avid birder who never misses an opportunity to point out an interesting bird. He has not pointed out birds, never even looking at them since the accident happened. The fact that he pointed one out to me, helped me know that he is working thru the pain, and that we will be able to get thru this with a lot of prayer, a lot of sweat, a lot of tears, and a lot of love and help from all of you.

Leah did manage to eat a bit of the supper Dee prepared for us, and especially enjoyed the stuffing . She also had an odd craving for thinly sliced ham, and her old ICU bed that was far more comfy. I left her as she was just barely able to keep her eyes open, as she was tired from all of the PT and the many trips to the bathroom (the trip to the bathroom in the MTU is about twice as far as in the ICU.)

Rachel had a long day, lots of PT and lots of visitors, and the discovery of the concussion helped explain lots of things that we had experienced. She did eat a lot today, but when we tried to get her to eat dinner, she said she was full, and was tired of eating. She also told dad that she just kept eating to be nice, cause everyone wanted her to eat so much, she felt she needed to.

I need to get to sleep, running on 3 hours a day is hard, and tommorow is going to be a long long day.

The funeral information is as follows:

10:00 AM
Friday, August 10th
St. Francis Catholic Church
601 S. West Street
Stillwater, OK 74074
405-372-6886

There will be a quiet visitation on Thusrsday evening. Zack let me know that Renee is now safely in Stillwater. She is surrounded by a wonderful collection of memories from their home, and is bathed in music from a recording of her senior recital from Texas Tech.

The funeral home coordinating the service is Strode Funeral Home of
Stillwater. Their web address is www.strodefh.com.

I did want to send out a little message from Britanie as I think a lot of her friends are reading this page as well. Below is from Brit:

Tomorrow around 12:24 pm, Dad, Jay and I will be boarding a flight to
Oklahoma City, OK, leaving our girls behind in the capable hands of my
uncle Jerry and Leah’s parents, Bill and Judith. While we know they
will be well cared for, it is incredibly hard to be apart from them
for more than a few hours… and so far it has only been those few
hours we have needed to sleep when it becomes to hard to do anything
else or grab a quick bite to eat when our stomachs finally growl
louder than the thoughts in our heads. Fortunately both the girls
moved out of the ICU and into the Multiple Trauma Unit today, so we
know they are making small steps forward… particularly in Leah’s
case as she is able to get out of bed on her own now, though still
only for a few steps and with much pain.

We return to Denver at 7:40 pm on Friday, August 10th, and will be
heading straight back to the hospital. We are hoping for Leah’s
release by early next week or this weekend, but were told today that
Mom will be here for at least 3 more weeks, “a conservative estimate”
according to her doctors and physical therapist. Her left lung
partially collapsed again today, and they discovered 3 more broken
ribs on the right side and told us she definitely had a concussion -
thereby explaining the double vision, seeing red and blue, and not
being able to remember or follow commands. The extreme tiredness can
also be partially attributed to this, in addition to her pain killers
and the psychological trauma. We were so excited to move upstairs
today, but her spirits were kind of low and she keeps talking about
how much easier it would be to just give up. We told her she can’t
talk like that. I really need my mother. My dad needs his wife.

So 3 more weeks in Denver. And I leave for Harvard in 2.5 weeks. My
mother says I have no choice, that I have to go.

I’m sorry to sound down today. I just really miss my sister and my
mom. I’m proud of Leah, but sad for her pain and wish she were better
even faster.

I love you all and will see some of you this weekend.

Britanie

Once again for all of you, here is a bit of contact info:

Rachel is in room 4435.

Leah is in room 4267.

You can contact me at halljw@gmail.com, Britanie at britanie@gmail.com or my Dad, John at jwhall2@gmail.com

Update for August 7, 2007 1:00 AM

Leah, Medical, Renee No Responses »

Aug 082007

Another quick update for today before I go try to sleep. Sorry I didn’t get to it earlier, but I spent most of my day sitting with Leah, doing what I felt was necessary for my own well being and hers. We had a good day today, the girls both made good improvements today, and really helped lift the spirits of those of us who are not hurt.

We got up early this morning so we could be there for rounds, and get the latests from the doctors. Dr. Katubig (aka Dr. Burt the trauma surgeon) stopped by with around 10 interns and doctors to check Leah out. We had a bit of a disappointment this morning, as the carotid injury has not progressed as fast as he would like, and there is still some swelling and bruising there. He took her off of the aspirin, and placed her back on cumidin and another submolecular slippery stuff that prevents clots (the nurses words not mine.) Leah will be taking cumidin for the next few weeks, and will be receiving two shots a day of the super slippery drug. This will help prevent clots from forming, and helps to limit the possibility of the damage at the carotid from passing into the brain. All in all a minor setback, but one that was quickly overshadowed by the good stuff that happened today.

On the bright side Leah was sitting upright in a chair for the rounds, and was able to sit for almost an hour in a chair before tiring. The nurse also unhooked all the monitoring devices, except for a quick check every few hours. We also were able to get the IV removed, as her fluid levels and nutrition levels were looking good, after being touch and go for a while back on Saturday and Sunday due to the food poisoning she had dealt with all week. Once they removed the IV fluid cycle, they also went ahead and removed the catheter. She managed to walk about 10 steps over to the restroom and use the facilities all by herself. She of course needs a little assistance getting in and out of bed and getting settled, but the walking and relieving parts she is able to do completely on her own. Little does she realize that this is a subtle bit of PT for her, as the nurses continue to pour water for her and encourage her to drink. This makes her have to use the restroom more, and therefore walk more. This is a really good bit of exercise for her and one that the PT tech said was good for her. Leah also stated that her goal was to go down to see Rachel, and have a nice little hand squeezing moment with her. She got around 10 steps, before we loaded her up into the wheelchair and let her go down and talk to Rachel.

This is a good point to bring Rachel’s status up to date. Yesterday we were having a lot of difficulty with the pain medication blocking a lot of her lucid moments. Late last night, they changed her over to percocet to help clear the fog, while still controlling the pain. This techniques seemed to work a little bit, as this morning we were able to have a nice conversation with Rachel. She was able to talk with us a little bit and also able to say what all was hurting. She did end up also sustaining a sprained neck, and she is currently having to keep her head movement to a minimum. She did however look about a thousand times better then she did last night, and her spirit seemed much better,tho it is apparent that at times her heart is still very very broken. She did eat 4 bites of pancakes, but decided they tastes a bit like cardboard, so she made Britanie eat it for her. She did drink down her milk tho, and also drank a little juice. This was quite encouraging, as she had been quite uninterested in food.

She and Leah had a nice chat, told each other how much they loved each other, and managed to wave at each other from a bit of a distance, as wheel chairs and hospital beds tend to be quite bulky. We said a prayer as a family with Bill, and the prayer seemed to help put her and Leah at rest. Both of them quickly tired however, as that was a lot of excitement for the two of them, and both wanted to take a quick nap.

Once again Dee cooked a wonderful meal for us, and served us in the conference room of the ICU ward. Leah felt strong enough that she decided to join us, and we wheeled her into sit with us as we demolished the delicious food, laughed, and shared stories and jokes. I can not tell you how much that homemade food helps a person feel good. Rachel was not yet ready for this kind of meal, so was anxious to get her tomato soup, cottage cheese an cracker meal. She got quite impatient and managed to grouse a bit because it was taking so long to get her food. This kind of spirit is the Rachel we were looking for, and her improvement helped lift our spirits quite a bit.

We did have a bit of a downer, as we did have to deal with funeral arrangements for Renee. Zack had the hard job of sitting down and planning Renee’s funeral, and finding a burial plot. For people who wish to send condolences to Zack, he can be reached at ostatezack@yahoo.com, or call me and I will try to get you his number.

The funeral will be held at St. Francis Xavier Catholic Church in Stillwater, OK on Friday, August 10th at 10 AM, with Father Kenneth J. Harder presiding. Interment will be in Fairlawn Cemetary, Stillwater, OK. Strode Funeral Home is Stillwater is in charge of arrangements. A quiet viewing will be avaliable on Thrusday night at the funeral home, and will be attended by Britanie, John and myself. We will be flying out of Denver on Thursday morning, and will return Friday evening. We will be leaving the girls in the capable hands of Jerry and Bill and Judith. An online obituary can be viewed at Strode Funeral Home’s website.

Please continue to email us and the girls, the emails were wonderful, and was a joy to share with them. I think you all for your wonderful out pouring of support and prayer and generosity, and can’t even begin to put into words how much this means to all of us. I must also take the time to thank the people at Swedish Medical Center, and especially the nursing staff of the ICU. They have been wonderful in accommodating all of us, and treating the girls to some of the best care that we could have ever hoped for. I would also especially like to take the time to thank Dr. Larry Miton of Oklahoma and his wife Paula for stopping on the road to help us in our time of need, and who I have had the pleasure of delivering a report on the girls status to. Leah also had the opportunity to thank him on the phone, and I am sure if my mother had been awake at the time would have like to as well. I realize that all of these people are professionals, but the way that they do their jobs, and the help and the care that they provide is exceptional, and the best that one could ever hope for should one end up in this situation.

Thanks again for all the love and prayers, I must now go follow the doctors orders and get some sleep.

Jay

Older Entries